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Dodging Madly in Grandma Gold

First, a little history - I live in the great village of Elmwood Park, Illinois. For those of you who don’t know where that is, take Diversy west just over the Chicago city limits until it looks like the street ends. It doesn’t, but that’s not really significant to the story. When I first started here at ReachFarther, I was commuting via the Green Limousine* almost the full length of Belmont Avenue. Let me tell you, that’s a long ride when you’re sitting next to some guy from the Eastern Block who hasn’t bathed in two weeks - give or take a day or two. That all changed when my mother-in-law sold me her Gold 2000 Honda Hotrod, er… Civic. Of course it was gold- my mother-in-law is over 60 years old and I think it’s a law in the US that older folks can only buy new cars tinted in a golden hue. (My dad has two gold Toyota Camrys: one a 2000 and the other a 2005.) I think there’s a biblical golden idol analogy I could make here, but that’s probably for another time.

The Age of Matt and the Grandma Gold was born.

Now, my commute is 8.77 miles according to MapQuest – a 64.36 city block long hike on one major street. Luckily, they make street parking illegal during the morning rush hour going east and the afternoon rush hour going west so the busses can use that lane and traffic eases up a bit. This is perfect for my trek as I like to make extensive use of these lanes. For some reason, most people don’t use them. I don’t think it’s illegal to, is it? If it is, the Chicago cops are too busy with more pressing issues than little old me and my Grandma Gold. The open lane creates some fantastic driving if you’re not afraid to use it. You just whip past long lines of cars waiting two or three stoplight cycles. I feel like Robert Deniro in Ronin only I’m actually driving, not some formula 1 schmuck in the backseat while I make faces like I’m concentrating. That Deniro... such a faker.

I hooked up an iPod linkup with the factory model radio in GG. I did a little search online and got complete instructions (including pictures!) on how to get to the back of the car radio. In the case of the 2000 Civic, this includes taking every panel off the dashboard as well as the radiator and the forth piston to get back there. Well, I hooked that bad bay up and reassembled the car (although I couldn’t fit the piston back in, do you think that’ll be a problem?) The only issue is the antenna connector must have fallen out while I was reassembling, because I don’t receive any radio transmission anymore. But that don’t matter, I crank the rock and drive like I’m listening to the soundtrack to my very own movie starring me and my awesomness.


*Green Limousine is what they used to call Chicago busses back when they had no handicap accessibility or air conditioning. They were described as "green" because they were painted green. Now they’re white and "white limousine" just doesn’t make the cut.